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Dear Ms. Bedrick,
Recently, you requested information about doing business in Burma. Thank
you for your interest and may I present a few guidelines that I have
adopted from the likes of Total and other firms that have shown an interest
in the business opportunities in Burma.
The most important unwritten rules of business cannot, of course, be
written, but just this once, I will bend the rules for you.
Rule #1: The ever-so-helpful members of SLORC do all in their power to
ensure that no foreign business will encounter any problems with unruly
workers. Foreign business members need not worry about such proprieties as
manners and such because SLORC, once again in the interests of promoting
investment, will take care of any unpleasantries you may encounter.
Rule #2: Burma represents a golden, nay, dare I say, a platinum and
diamond-studded opportunity for foreign investors. Imagine . . . some of
the lowest wages in the world and you'll never hear a peep out of the
workers. If you do, you could just report it to your friendly government
assistant and be assured that the problem would be whisked away
immediately. Act now to take advantage of the unique opportunity that
careful, intrusive, dictatorial and all-encompassing state control offers
In the tradition of Swift,